They say the first year of marriage is always the hardest, even if you've been together for a long time and boy they were right. This hasn't specifically been hell but it's been really tough and we are only a few months in. And to top it off I'm pregnant. Just found out and I know he doesn't want kids, hell he doesn't even accept my daughter. He says he loves her and that her and I were a package deal and he knew that going in but the past couple days have been really hard. He flat out said that he "can't" be her dad and isnt going to deal with her anymore. Which made me really heart broken and think, well will you be able.to handle your kid? You can't raise them like that! My daughter will always feel left out. I'm so hurt and let down.. I never expected him to adopt her but I also never expected him to treat her like this. I'm still a single mom if we life like this and she gets the terrible end of the stick. Her own father doesn't do shit for her or give a shit or try and now her step dad is throwing his hands up in the air?!? She doesn't deserve that and I truly believed he was a better man than this. If it comes down to it yes, I will raise my kids on my own regardless of what any man wants to say. But I am immensely heart broken that that thought even has to cross my brain when him and I are only a few months onto the marriage and have been together for 10 ish years on and off. The other thing that has between a rock and a hard place is the fact that now I'm working 2 jobs because he doesn't want a "dependa" and no matter my history with work, paying bills, the fact I've been a working single mom for 5 years and have 4 degrees; someone somewhere has him all freaked that I'm just as princess that needs his money. I don't but that's also not how a marriage should go. I don't know anyone else that is so scared of their man leaving because someone somewhere views them as a "dependa" (even if their not) but that is my daily life. Believe it or not I like having my own money and paying bills. But anyway he wasn't happy with my job so I got another one. He now isn't happy with how much I'm away from home and needing to rely on him for picking up the munchkin.
I am in a Damned if I do, damned if I don't situation and scared all the time that he is going to divorce me just because he can't handle the stress of having a family.
Just had to vent....
I love this man more than I could ever explain. He's all I've ever wanted. Why does it have to be this hard?
