Youtube anyone?

Good morning! (Or evening....where ever in the world you might be)

I am happy to report that our lives have been alot better here recently. Of course, there have been and will always be stress and we are working on dealing with that stress on a daily basis but I think that is why things have been getting better. My ugly boy has been settling into being a dad and back to being my loving husband/the loving, amazing man I fell in love with all those years ago. I realized that I was expecting way too much change and progression alot faster than what he was capable of. Not everyone can change and progress like I can because not everyone has had to constantly accept change and move forward like I have. Him and I grew up in 2 totally different ways. He had a very stable life growing up and had a different idea or perspective of what "family" is; where as, I grew up in a somewhat unstable home (constantly moving around and worrying about things a child shouldnt have to worry about) and viewing family as not only the people that you share blood with but who is there and honestly cares about you. I grew up in a blended home, I had an amazing step dad, I had best friends whose families became my extended family, and have dealt with more death than a young person should ever have to. So, my opinions and views can come off as condescending or jaded and his can be very close minded. All that being said, we have had some very strong conversations here lately, and I whole heartily view our relationship as being far stronger; more of a team. 

Also, in the last month I have applied to a little over 400 jobs. That is a literal number, not an exaggeration. Let me put it this way, I have applied to so many jobs that the job board website I use  literally has no new job postings for multiple positions that I am currently searching for. Like I will get a notification of a new posting and its not actually new, its just written in a different manner and I will go to apply, only to find out I have already applied to it like 3 days ago. However, I have FINALLY heard back from a few places. Ive currently had 4 interviews, got calls back on 3 of them for 2nd interviews, and 1 total job offer. I am excited about all of them, especially about the complete job offer I received. Its a store manager position and I totally thought that they had chosen someone else for the position. I even called the guy back a couple days ago to just thank him for the 1st interview and the opportunity. Thankfully, he called yesterday and was like um, no. We want to hire you for the job! YAY!! 

I cannot express how happy I am to finally be going back to work. Dont get me wrong, I love being home with my little wiggle worm but the life of a stay at home mom is just not for me. I need to be making my own money and able to stand on my own two feet. I am not saying anything negative about my husband with that statement either. He is a good provider, the problem is with me. I literally hate myself having to rely on another person financially. It takes so much internally to just ask for simple things because for so long I never had to ask anyone for anything. I was raised to be very independent and at the same time, through this military lifestyle, my husband has been shown the bad side of dependence. That its some how terrible to be a provider for your family and that if a woman is a stay at home mom, she is not actually bringing anything to the table besides bills. And in some cases that is true but not mine. I may not always have the house spotless or dinner on the table but the kids are well cared for, our animals are well taken care of, and the house isnt filthy. Also, never have I had him buy my necessities. I have always worked in some way to finance myself and the kids in that way. Its suppose to be a team but staying home to care for the family doesnt make me any less of a team member. 

Ugh, now I am talking in circles. Bottom line is that I am excited to be making my own money again and able to financially assist with our family and not just physically provide for them. 

In other news, the husband received ALOT of supplement samples in the mail. Super excited about that because he gave me most of them. So, now I get to try a bunch of different kinds of pre-work outs, protein powders, and thermogenics. I am not a moron, I know that I need to be very careful trying them out and never use them in conjunction with each other because they could cause alot of other issues and I do not want to get sick all because I was trying to get healthy and fit. 

I am thinking of doing a weekly youtube channel devoted to trying the supplements and my product reviews of them. I know that would help a bunch of people out there wary of trying the supplements themselves and/or dont have a shit ton of money to just drop on these things that may or many not actually work. 

Trying these supplements though means that I have had to stop breastfeeding. Made it almost 10 months, so I am very proud of that. However, I cant risk these supplements going through the breastmilk to him and with going back to work, it makes things much easier. Not alot of employers are breastfeeding friendly here in the states, surprisingly. 

Well, very long post to an end, who would watch my youtube channel? How has everyone been doing? Is there anything specifically yall would like me to write about? Write me! Comment below! And dont forget to subscribe =) Thanks for reading!