Awkward

It's 2 am and for the hundredth time I cannot sleep and know that I'm going to have a weird day but regardless of that the point of this post is about how I'm watching Girl Code right now and the topic is about awkward situations. One specific one that came up was how it's awkward when you agree to go to a function or party and end up only knowing like the person who invited you to go or you went there with but everyone else is like BFF's. I can sympathize and understand how that would make some people have anxiety or feel awkward but I am just not one of those people. Crowds have never scared me. New people have never caused me anxiety. I have never been the shy girl in the corner, not talking to anyone, and feeling that awkward. I ALWAYS end up right in the middle of the crowd or dance floor or leading the discussion. I am just a very, very outgoing woman. I'll walk up to a group of people at a party and just flow with their vibe. One of the biggest reasons why I have always been that way (besides the fact I just have a very old soul) is because I know deep down EVERYONE is imperfect. They cannot judge me because they do not know me and if I'm wearing a smile o n my face and treating these new people with respect and how I want to be treated, generally that's how it goes. They smile back. We talk and hey, I might even gain some new friends out of that. If they turn out to be shitty people then it's no problem, I can just turn my smiley self around and go find someone else to talk to. One of the best examples of this was when I started classes about 2 years ago and although it was a college ild never attended, didn't know a single person in the room, and even walked in 10 minutes late cause I was sent to the wrong classroom number; I still ended up leading the class and having people buying to be my lab partner by the 2nd break. I even walked into class saying to myself I was going to stay quiet and reserved at least for the first week so that I can really sink into the environment and not feel like such an outsider but that lasted maybe 20 minutes after I walked into the class and started answering questions the professor was asking because it drives me crazy when no one does. They were simple, basic medical questions to me and I was like fighting myself over raising my hand or not. Never fight yourself over being yourself especially when it comes to your intelligence.