Ok so I've come to realize that friends always have a shelf life. Meaning that eventually they will just fade out or abruptly just prove their worth and leave. I don't even just mean physically because I have had friends from all over the world and as long as we are both making an effort to at least send word to one another in some form (which literally there are so many ways with our wonderful technology to do so.....) then the friendship still will thrive. But when one person just ghosts you for no fucking reason not only it is heart breaking; there is absolutely no closure. On top of that you start to realize that you never should have trusted them with your inner most feelings or if you were having a hard time privately. They shouldn't have known that because they clearly didn't ever actually care. They used you and they used their shelf life. I'm so done. I'm done trying to have friends and going out of my way for people. I've been ruined by thus humanity and although I use to be a very optimistic, outgoing, and fierce friend; I've come to realize that I need to stop doing so.
God, it's like getting broken up with but it's worse. Best friends are suppose to be like your sisters from other misters. Like, she was suppose to be an Aunt to my children and me an Aunt to hers. I care about her family and have really opened my heart to her. I never should have. Fucking two faced people!
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