What's the point? It doesn't matter what I say or do, no matter how hard I try, or how strong I keep myself. In the end I'm just a hassle. It's just another fight. Another miscommunication.
God, if it wasn't for my kiddos and my furbabies I'd probably be dead and gone. Nothing else has ever panned out or went right in my life. I'm too passionate. I try to hard. I push to much. I rub people the wrong way. No one actually cares about me or gives a shit. No one actually wants me around. That's why everyone leaves. That's why I'll always be alone. Even in a room of people I'm alone. I never should have reached this high or hoped for a family.
Although all of this wasn't for nothing. I was blessed with my beautiful baby boy.
The butterflies he use to give me turned into the pattering of little feet.
Somehow I will find a way to do right by my kids and give them a life I've never had. I will make sure they never cry like I have. I will make sure they feel strong and stable. They will never have to worry if they will eat that day or if there will be power or if we will have to move suddenly. They will never question whether or not I'll be there regardless of if their father is or not. Mom will always have their backs. Mommy will always defend them and fight for them.
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