As I lay here in bed, my mind restless because this is where I spent most of the day anyway with a terrible migraine, I cannot help but wonder to the far reaches of my mind and be damned the facebook posts that started the whole wandering.
Someone posted how if someone you care about doesnt message you for 3, 6, or 12 hours then they must be messaging someone else.
WTF?!?!?! No. Simply, no! If someone doesnt message you for 3, 6, or 12 hours its because they are busy. They have a job, kids, responsibilities, and other shit to deal with besides just you. It sounds harsh but it really isnt and I am only speaking from experience.
I use to be so swept away with how long it took people to message me or how I had no one to talk to but it was because I had no life and they did. So, I made myself just as busy and guess what? Shit is great now!
People dont always need people. Infact it is a privledge and complete lie that we honestly need anyone. We dont. We need air, water, food, and shelter but we do not need people. Sure, you get lonely, you miss people, and you miss the times with people but it is not something we need.
I refuse to admit that I need anyone and it is a HUGE thing if I say I need you. My husband finally understands that about me and has always been adiment about trying to get me to renounce the fact I need him. Maybe it is because of his job and all the danger that goes along with that but besides him and my munchkin, I do not need people. They come and go. I love deeply, I care deeply for those that are in my life but the inevitable fact of the matter is, need is not how I would describe any of our relationships.
Dont count me a cynic. I know what it means to lose a parent, to never get to say goodbye, and the pain that death brings. I have lost several people that have meant the absolute world to me but God has either blessed me or cursed me with the inner strength to always survive mentally and move on. And I use to be naive and sit there and think the worst if I had not heard from my then boyfriend (now husband) and some of the times I was right but more often then not, I just ended up looking like a fool and causing a rift between us because I was too clingy and up his ass all the time. No one wants that. In another relationship I felt the opposite side of that and learned whole heart-idly to appreciate my me time and the distance a few hours can bring. If someone special isnt messaging you or responding to your text then oh bloody well. Go do something for you, leave the phone for a bit and make yourself a life. Make them miss you and message you. If they are talking to someone else, thats because their world does not revolve around you and you should be thankful for that. If they long for you, then they will message, call, or whatever when they have a bit of free time and if they do not then learn something from that. Some people just arent meant to be together or the timing is wrong.
Hell, it took my husband and I 10 years to finally tie the knot. We went back and forth since high school. He had other relationships, I had other relationships, and we both had to learn a few things about the world and ourselves before we vould appreciate each other fully. We all wish when we are younger and hearing fairy tale romances that that is how it will be but the world isnt like that anymore.
Fairy tales arent real and the pride or greed of everyone has just gotten bigger and bigger. Not to mention the vanity and narcissism. There is no secret to us anymore. Its blasted on social media 24/7. Porn has blasted away any secret there was to sex, lust, and love. The internet and smart phones have made that accessible all the time, and social media where you update your status every 10 minutes has made it to where the "missing" of someone is almost impossible because you always know what they are up to, where they are, hell what they are eating. There was once a time when letters that took days or weeks to reach one another were the only ways to find that stuff out and they were so much more fluid, vivid, and beautiful. You fell in love with a persons mind, their words, and not their over sexualized facebook pic.
We literally have this space age device in our hands all the time. A text message literally takes just moments, seconds, to travel all the way up to a satelliteand then across whatever amount of distance to the other person. But we complain if the person takes more than a minute to respond. Its ridiculous. All of this I had to learn from time and fucking up and being a stupid naive clingy person but I learned it and I saw my flaws.
Lord help the future.
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