Celebrating Life

Here I sit, in system issues again cause I am having connection issues on my work computer which is why they are suppose to be sending me a new one.  I am sitting here aggravated and then it hits me.....This first world bullshit problem I am having DOES NOT MATTER!

In all honesty, I should be really thankful! I am working from home! I get to be so close to my babies and make money FROM HOME! And, right now, I am getting paid to just sit by this computer! WHAT?!??! Yes! I am getting paid to sit by this computer, review policies, maybe go over training again if I can get it to load on my personal computer, and really hone my ability to sell policies but you know not actually sell them cause if I get on the phone system it freezes every couple of minutes cause the Ethernet port is malfunctioning!

So, what am I going to do in this slight bit of freedom? I am going to celebrate my life! We never take moments anymore to celebrate the life we are given. Sure, I could get on here and write pages on what is causing me stress, my anxiety is going through the roof, depression, PDP, and how my husband barely ever communicates with me and hes going to be home in a few months and I havent accomplished shit cause he refuses to give me the tools I need to, to be able to ......*DEEP BREATH!* .....>>>>BUT!! I am not going to do that! Instead I am going to write 5 real things that I am thankful for. Do my makeup. Maybe, just maybe curl my hair. And, when I am feeling more secure in myself attempt to get this damn computer to work!

FIVE REASONS WHY I AM CELEBRATING MY LIFE TODAY!
1. My children are healthy, strong, happy, and growing well.
2. Although this is a small house, it is still a roof over my childrens heads and they all have warm clean beds to sleep in.
3. Although I am not happy with how my body looks right now, I am astonished at the strength in myself and the reality that I carried 3 children to term and had MASSIVE surgery but have somewhat bounced back from it all!
4. There is food in my kitchen that is healthy and will feed my children for more than 2 days. Not everyone has food and there have been days when I seriously was scared I wouldnt be able to feed anyone. When I was much younger and didnt have kids yet, there were times when I didnt eat for days cause I didnt have the money for food but I did make sure my dog ate.
5. I get to work from home. I dont have to worry about driving anywhere or getting sick cause someone who couldnt afford to miss a day came into work super contagious! All I have to worry about is keeping this small house clean and teaching my kids the right way to wash their hands so we all stay healthy. Blesses be! I am thankful for that!

What are you thankful for? 

Thanks for reading! Please feel free to comment below! 

Also! If you are feeling that highlight of mine go to 

Youniqueproducts.com/DeltaDubose 

Costume shaming SHUT UP

As a proud 90s baby, I must speak on this absolute bullshit that is plaguing our nation right now!

The way I grew up was that Halloween was the one night of the year you could dress up as ANYTHING you wanted and no one could say jack crap about it! 

Now, however, if you idolize Moana and want to dress up as the beautiful daughter of the Chief, it is called cultural appropriation and you will get SO MUCH backlash for showing your appreciation of the character and her culture???? What in the absolute fuck????

Listen, I apologize for the language but this really, really, entirely grinds my gears! ENOUGH ALREADY! Everything is offensive! Everything!!!

I am done with it! I grew up LOVING Halloween and all that it meant and I refuse to let that tradition die. If my kids want to dress up as Moana, a cowboy, a native (and I am native american....No I am not offended when someone dawns a big head dress and tries to do the yell- side note the big head dresses were worn for show i.e. entertainment not ceremony or sacred), an alien, a priest, a nun, a footballer, a cat, etc.... I DONT CARE! ROCK THOSE COSTUMES!!!

Also, if anyone does say anything to a child or really anyone for what they chose their costume to be- that person saying they are offended is a grade A dick head. It is a costume. You can cross dress and your sexuality is never in question. You can be a vampire, a werewolf, something dead, something undead, an object, a satirical joke, a meme, or ANYTHING YOU WANT TO BE! Halloween is not a day to be controlled or condemned!

Sure, it is in poor taste if you dress up as Hitler or a giant penis but I have no right to control your costume or bully you because that is what you chose to dress up as. And, why on God's green earth is it okay for the media to criticize a woman for taking the idea of a character and making it sexy? She felt comfortable in the costume, she wanted to be sexy, she isnt a child; LET HER DRESS HOWEVER THE HELL SHE WANTS TO! Literally, for months, all I have seen in the media is them shoving down our throats that we as women have more and more rights to wear what we want and have the autonomy and safety to do so or should and then bam! An article on  this woman wearing a costume deemed sexy and apparently inappropriate. She didnt wear it to make a statement to children that that is what all girls should aspire to be, it was her damn Halloween costume! Link below
  https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/tana-mongeau-criticized-her-sexy-164923147.html

I mean, I was the corpse bride for Halloween and I am sure that someone somewhere is offended.

On a side note, I used my younique make up for my look instead of the cheap halloween make up sold at like walmart cause it just worked better and was way better for the health of my skin!

Also, there is an amazing kudos package available this month for only $69 and if you love purple as much as I do, you will LOVE THIS PACKAGE!

Check it out at       www.youniqueproducts.com/DeltaDubose     ->click on Kudos -> buy now/add to cart-> Check out!

Timing and Tolerance

Lets talk about about timing and tolerance.

I have had horrible timing lately and I fully believe that it has to be with my tolerance to all the things that I am subjecting myself to. I am trying to hussle and make as much money as possible to get my kids and I into a large house and really become the #momboss that I want to be.

I have been binge watching how to videos on youtube, reading books on becoming successful, talking it all into existence, and really putting myself forward on how to become a successful and Ill put it bluntly, RICH person that I want to be.

So, although I am putting forth all of the things and effort that I know are necessary in conquering my goals; it just isnt happening like I thought I would. There is my tolerance level.

What I realized after reading this last lesson is that you have to be tolerant, you have to patient, you have to change your mind from this first world and instant recognition type mindset into a bigger broader spectrum. You have to think big picture to make the big picture possible and constantly looking for pennies when you should be looking for big bills is how you get tripped up.

So, if you are reading this and you are feeling the way I am- Join me! I already have one side business going with a booming company that has a phenomenal commission structure and instead of having to constantly buy into the company its just $99 once and you get over $300 worth of makeup! I am a mom that balls out on a budget so when my toddler tornado DESTROYED all of my make up "coloring" I couldnt pass up spending less and getting better quality!

www.youniqueproducts.com/DeltaDubose

Work work work work work

I am beyond exhausted and seriously need about a 17 hour nap. 

I know that it has been a couple days since my last post and I sincerely apologize for that. I am currently ramping up with my employer company for this upcoming insurance open enrollment period which means I am back in training to learn a whole new system again and all the new training for the market place. For those of you awesome readers not in America, thank your lucky stars you dont have to deal with this craziness. Canada, as an American I can seriously say I wish in this instance we took your lead and had a health care system like yours. 

At this point I would welcome an IV drip of straight caffeine. I have no energy and about a million things to do. I havent posted for my younique business in over a week, havent written on here, my house is a wreck because the AC flooded again, and I have this training to complete for work and a whole other training to complete specifically for selling medical insurance on the market place. 

Can I have a clone of me? LOL

Any other readers in the same boat? Comment below! 

In other news, they have updated the new Kudos package on my younique site and oh my god yall! Its like an everything package for only $61!! I am seriously considering buying it for myself next week when I get paid. Might want to check it out!

www.youniqueproducts/DeltaDubose

Shock Therapy

I know, I know. The title is a bit misleading but bear with me, as I assure you it actually isnt. 

So, I pose a question to the group. Do you use any kind of "shock therapy" to trick yourself into doing what you know you need to do? 

Let me explain. 

A couple of years ago, I discovered that when I am just feeling lethargic and lazy but I know I need to clean the house or change out the laundry or whatever it may be, I just have to watch a couple minutes of the extreme situation of whatever it is I am dealing with. Example, feeling lazy and dont want to clean my house or feeling overwhelmed by what I need to clean- I watch hoarders. Its brilliant! I realize that I am NOT a hoarder and that my house could be so much worse than it is and in that same respect, I am "shocked" into the idea that my house could be worse and I dont want it to be anywhere near that level of just gross! So, it tricks my brain into a kind of panic mode and I clean like a super hero on a mission. 

Same goes for my dieting or working out. 

When I am feeling complacent, chunky, or just know that I am eating terribly but feel overwhelmed or stuck; I watch Supersize VS Super Skinny. Its a UK show that I discovered on youtube. Speaking from an Americans perspective I LOVE YALL SHOWS! Supersize VS Super Skinny, Secret Eaters, any of yalls like Docuseries shows, Call the Midwife, Etc. LOVE LOVE LOVE them all. 

But, specifically speaking S. VS SS. really "shocks" me in both ways. 

As a person that has been on both ends of the spectrum, close to having an eating disorder, and predisposed to being bigger; I get that boost I need to be more mindful of my diet and the show has helped me tremendously. 

We have similar shows here in America but I really feel like they are watered down so they dont "offend" people. The truth of the matter though, is that the world is offensive but it should be. We need to be shocked out of our comfort zones. We need to see the other ends of the spectrum and we need to get called out on our bullshit. Maybe I was raised old fashioned but thats just what I believe. If you live in a bubble, never leave where you are from, never see the world or cultures different than your own; that is a sheltered hell. 

Differences are beautiful. 

There is so much that we can learn from one another. Why shelter yourself to just one mindset? 

For example, if you watch Kitchen Nightmares ( I LOVE GORDON RAMSEY) the American version usually always ties into some kind of family drama or lovey dovey BS and you can clearly see that Ramsey is censored from what he truly wants to say at times. However, you watch the UK version and he calls them out! There isnt the lovey dovey crap and you see the real business and culinary amazingness that is his cooking. 

A couple other awesome UK show that I love in that version but hate the American version - Skins and Shameless. Way better in the UK versions. 

Is there a show you watch to "shock" yourself? 

Do you have another form of "Shock" therapy?

Please comment below or message me if you are too shy to comment. I love hearing from my readers and appreciate yall greatly! 

*LIKE< COMMENT<SHARE<FOLLOW<PARTICIPATE*

#30four30challenge day 1!

Well Delta and Diva completed Day 1 of our 30 day workout challenge and it was a huge success! We both had an absolute blast doing it. She was most excited about riding on my stationary bike for the 30 mins we were suppose to be walking but since the boys were already in bed, the bike was the best alternative. For me, I was most excited about the squats and the jumping jacks. I know how out of shape I am and to have completed those (even though its a tiny number compared to what I use to do) I am very proud of myself. 

Having a baby changes your body SO MUCH! 

And dont get me wrong, I applaud those women who are capable of working out their entire pregnancy and having rocking bods the day after having their little one. That sadly wasn't the case for me. After I had Diva I tried to get on birthcontrol because I was trying to be smart and responsible. Didnt work out well for me as I found out! I am allergic to almost all forms of birth control. Like, to the point my body started shutting down. I jumped almost 130 lbs in the time span of maybe 3 months, my organs started shutting down, and on new years of 2010/2011 I had to have emergency surgery. One surgery ended up turning into four back to back surgeries and if I had not gone in when I did the doctor flat out told me my intestine was about to rupture and at that point all they could have done was made me comfortable. 

Fast forward quite a few years my husband (ugly boy) and I found out I was preggo! I was excited but scared, was working for an awesome oral surgeon and things were just falling into place! Not to mention I was the fittest I had been like ever! I rode my bike everywhere, I worked out every night, I was eating really healthy, and life was going really good. Then while scrubbing up for a procedure at work I felt a just shooting pain in my left lower abdomen. I rushed to the hospital where I found out in a pretty terrible way that I had miscarried. I was devastated.  Thank god for my Ugly Boy, my mom, and my awesome little Diva. After that we moved, I got back to work, starting kicking butt again; but my body just wasnt syncing back up right. 

I didnt want to jinx myself or get my hopes up after all of that. It was terrible. So, one day in between my 2 jobs I had at the time I stopped and got like 6 pregnancy tests. I did them all in a row right there at job number 2 before my shift started and sure enough my eggo was preggo again! Welcome my miracle little rainbow baby Pickle! 

His pregnancy was rough and I was sick like the whole time but he was perfect and healthy and that is all I could be so blessed to have and wanted. 

So, again, I get back to work and kicking butt. Was trying to get back into working out alot. Even began working at a prison as a CO so that it would force me to really kick my butt into gear. I was so careful and always so sick during that pregnancy that I honestly did not work out like I wanted to or should have. 

At this point Ugly Boy and I had it pretty set that we were good. We had our Diva and our perfect little Pickle Monster and our family was kinda complete. HAHAHA! God had other plans. 

Enter Nugget aka Dimples. 

He was our surprise! So, I was getting going working at the prison and was called into the office cause I mean they test us for everything to ensure safety ya know. And, that is when I was told "Hey, you're pregnant. Desk duty!"

I was like there is no way. Yall got my test mixed up with someone elses, it has to be a false positive. We have been so careful and I had NO symptoms. I wasnt sick, I wasnt tired, my belly wasnt pooching, and technically with the medicine I was one for my migraines and to help me drop the weight I shouldnt have been able to get pregnant (thought I had found a loophole to being allergic to birthcontrol. Ha! I was wrong.)

I left and went straight to the store. I bought like 12 tests. I lined them up right there in the stores bathroom and right in a line boom, boom, boom! All positive. I was cramping. I was suppose to start LITERALLY the next day. 

I didnt start. Nope. My eggo was preggo again. However, I had to wait to let anyone know cause my ugly boy was out in the field with work. He wouldnt be home for a month. To me that was ok as I was scared of loosing the baby again and if I had told him then lost it before he had gotten home, I dont think I could have pulled myself out of that kind of depression. To lose a baby even that early, kills a part of your soul. Some men just dont understand that and I get it. Its because they will never know what its like to be carrying and protecting another life within yourself. Its a blissful burden that is a part of you from the moment you find out, hear that heart beat, see that sonogram, feel the first kick, and then finally see their little face. 

Anywho, his pregnancy was AWESOME! I was put on light duty and then bed rest cause my legs were swelling up like tree trunks but no diabetes and no blood pressure issues. Also, my ugly boy got to be home for the birth! 1st and only one that he got to be there for (thanks deployment) and I thank god so much for him being there. He was my rock in the operating room and kept me calm. And our little boy was born with nothing but love surrounding him. He is one serious little nugget though! LOL! 

This time I got my tube tied after though! No more babies for us! Our family is complete and my body needs to recover! I am so out of shape. 

I am looking forward to the amazing journey the next 30 days will be as we complete this challenge! 

I want to invite all yall out there to participate as well! I know to some it may be a really, really easy workout and to others its maybe extremely difficult and that is ok. It is all about progress and having fun while doing it. Please feel free to add variations where you need to, to complete your goals! 

Thank you so much for reading! 

Please like, comment, share, follow, and participate!

Controlling when you go "GHOST"

Have you ever suffered from post partum depression i.e. the baby blues?

Its not always like what is shown in the movies and it doesnt always get crazy to the point that you have to be hospitalized. Nope, sometimes its sutle but can really kick you in the butt. 

I take pride in the fact that I am very in tune with my body and try to make sure that it stays that way because I have had alot of close calls. I am allergic to so much shit! It is crazy! 

But, I also make it a big part to consistently monitor myself for my own mental health. When I was much younger I had a stint where nothing made sense and I was just sad and angry about everything. I couldnt understand it but I did hate myself and my life which made no sense. I know now that I was depressed and it was probably a hormonal unbalanced issue. Which is ok. That happens to alot of teens! Especially teens like myself whom were "late bloomers". I thankfully didnt have to medicate or anything to get myself right. I just went to counseling once a week, worked out ALOT (weightlifting saved my life), and I forced myself out of my own bubble to try new things. It worked! I was much happier, healthier, and everything started to even out. 

Now, I am not a medical professional and by all means if you feel yourself slipping or are really considering harming yourself, STOP! GET HELP! No one will judge you! You are worth more! Your life is worth more! It is not a shameful thing to be on medication or to get help. 

I know there is a huge stigma there and I will admit for the longest time I believed it as well. If I seek help then it will follow me around forever. That is not the case. There are new measures in place to keep people from being discriminated against just because they suffer a mental illness or had at one point. 

Well, to get to the point of this post. I realized a few weeks ago that I was really starting to dip. Like I could feel myself losing interest in things that I love. I was getting behind on the house work and then just felt overwhelmed. I was starting to hate work and I love my work. I know that I need to work on myself and my physical fitness because I just had a baby but my energy was just dwindling every single day, even with coffee. I just wanted to nap. If the baby was sleeping I wanted to be sleeping. That is ok when the baby is a few weeks old but my baby is now 5 months. I know I have to get back into a better routine but everything just seemed overwhelming. Now, I pride myself on my very outgoing personality and my wonder woman ability to kick ass even in my most exhausted state. I wasnt feeling like any kind of a super hero and it finally hit me- PPD. I have been slowly suffering from PPD. I have confined myself in this house. I have lost interest in things I love. I have went ghost on my friends. I went ghost on everything. 

PPD is no joke. 

If you feel you are suffering from it, seek help. Speak to your doctor. Talk to a friend. Do something. I know that feels completely against your mindset at the moment and that is the point. Your mindset wants to kill you. Your mindset is a hormonal imbalance caused from just having a baby. It happens. It is normal! Breastfeeding helps in rebalancing your hormones but sometimes that isnt enough for everyone. For me because I am allergic to alot of medications I am trying the natural approach first, simply because I dont want to have an allergic reaction to medication that you have to be weaned off of. Ya know? So I am walking every day before work after my munchkin goes to school, I am forcing myself to be more socially active, I am switching to herbal tea for my caffeine, I switched to almond milk because it is said that a handful of almonds has the same reaction in your brain as taking a prozac, and I am being more mindful of the food that I am putting in my body. 

That is what I call controlling when I go ghost. I dont want to go ghost. I dont want to let this consume me. I am a warrior! I am a good mom. I am a loyal and good friend. I am ambition and determined! I am a great and loving wife! I will not let this consume me! 

As always thank you for reading! 

Please like, comment, share, and subscribe. I love to hear from my readers!

If you need a boost my company has a great package going right now and all the proceeds go to defending innocence! Check it out and make yourself feel fabulous! 

www.youniqueproducts.com/DeltaDubose

Click shop>KudosPackage

#30four30challenge

I was on my way home from picking up my munchkin from the airport and I thought of a great way for both of us to get back into shape and get her excited about working out. 

Children learn the best through copying what they see. If you constantly sit on your butt, more than likely your' children will do the same thing. I am not trying to be mean, that is simply the truth. I would rather my kids not be lazy or get into that lazy type of routine. 

SO! 

Welcome to the #30four30challenge!! 

For 30 days you do 4 simple exercises that all consist of either 30 seconds, 30 mins, or 30 sets.

What I have chosen for ours encompasses a full body resistance without making my munchkin feel defeated. 

Starts out like this:

30 seconds of planking 

30 jumpingjacks

30 squats and then

30 mins of walking (progressing to jogging then running over the 30 days). 

ALWAYS stretch before and after. 

We will be taking before and after pics and measurements. 

We were suppose to start yesterday but between work and chasing after the other 2 kiddos, this mom was worn out. I know that could be seen as an excuse but dang, sometimes a nap or a gallon of coffee doesnt even put a dent into how terribly tired you end up as a mother. 

I came up with this challenge through thinking of what worked for me before and I swear by the 100 workout. I literally dropped over a hundred pounds 6 years ago through doing that workout at least 5 days per week. However, I am no where near where I need to be to do that workout and not injure myself. Being a mom and having had 3 csections, I have like no core strength at all. I am also terrified of ripping myself (I already have once just chasing after my toddler and lifting things that are so not heavy to me but....maybe shouldnt have).

I invite you to participate! Link to this blog, share, use the hashtag, share pics, and comment with your progress below! I love seeing and hearing from my awesome readers and communicated with like minded people. 

As always thank you so much for reading!

Comment below with how far my blog has reached! Where are yall from? 

**Disclaimer I am not a medical professional and if you are concerned please speak with your primary care before starting any workout. Stay safe!**

Defend Innocence

https://www.youniqueproducts.com/DeltaDubose/products/kudos#.W3oVhOhKjIU

I was scrolling through facebook, literally right after I did my live video early. I had touched on the topic of the Defend Innocence campaign with my company and what it meant. Directly after I am smacked in the face of a prime example of it! 

As a mother, this kind of stuff freaks me out! 

I can think back to a few instances when I was younger that were so inappropriate but I had no idea they were till now. I wasnt the prettiest. I was chunky and awkward so its not like I was hit on all the time or anything like that but when I did receive attention it was still shocking but I would usually brush it off. Luckily, my step dad raised me to know the difference between someone who is just flattering you to flatter you (butter you up, make you like them-they dont really like you, etc) and someone who genuinely appreciates you. 

However! There are situations like the one that I am going to speak about that are NEVER ok. 

So, I was scrolling through facebook and there is this other live video a mom had posted of this man surrounded by a bunch of other men (Im assuming to keep him there till the police arrived and thank god they stepped up to help this woman out!) This low life had gone into the dressing rooms of a rue 21, laid on the ground, and was watching a little 12 year old dress and apparently tried to grab at her! What in the absolute f***!!??!! 

Now, I applaud this woman for what she did in that situation. Had it of been my daughter in the dressing room .....it would have been a much different turn out and probably would have made the news (especially with all this hype about guns thats happening at the moment, that being said I have my concealed license and have been shooting since I was a kid so that man would either have been dead or missing his genitals.) 

If you read my old blog or know me from Facebook, you know Im not one to mess around or talk a bunch of talk and not back it up. I am not saying any of that to start a debate or get anyone up in arms about my right to carry vs this pathetic excuse of a mans life. His actions will affect that poor girl the rest of her life. She will always be scared to go into a fitting room. She will always feel like she has to watch over her shoulder. Her mothers life will always be affected from his actions. She will always fear for her daughter now, worse than she had before. Their safety or the feeling of their safety is now always going to be in question! She was 12! 12 years old! A child! He was a grown man...Why? Why should a grown man want to watch a 12 year old girl dress?? Or, grab at her for that matter???? That isnt a kink! It isnt ok! 

This mom chased him down, got the help of others to hold him there till the police arrived, and shared his face for the whole social media world to see. I applaud her for that. She wasnt silent. She didnt just let him get away with it. She didnt try to rationalize what he was doing. She didnt blame her daughter for his actions. She wasnt wearing anything risque. It wasnt the victims fault!

Have you ever had anything like this happen? Was it just brushed off? 
#metoo

This is one of the big reasons I love my company! They are actively trying to help. Click on my link above to #defendinnocence! 

Thank you for reading =) 

***Please like, comment, share, comment, and/or follow***

www.youniqueproducts.com/DeltaDubose

Halloween Makeup Tutorial! Cracked Doll!

https://www.facebook.com/DeltaDuboseYouniqueDivas/videos/1109046892579200/?__xts__%5B0%5D=68.ARB-UYExbpaX0mGhfcsANV6uDTh-045sKznvfwxL2PcLW2h-apirBmFMxzPPotM60M7tSu4ZS6tyB-y4PxYNB_kEKGIkV4kuOx4XwDlC-UbwqVUDxfwvhXPMVVvVvNFSw3bEKBcqkmuJ&__tn__=K-R

Hello world! Above is the link to my facebook fan page where I did a live video makeup tutorial on how to create or accomplish a halloween look "cracked doll". I did a poll on my fan page and also in my private Younique dedicated group. If you would like to follow, please click that follow and like button but also hover over the follow button to where you can get notifications of when I post new content or when I go live. Feel free to also comment with what you would like to see done next! I love hearing from my readers and connecting with all yall out there in the ether!

Thank you again!

**LIKE< COMMENT< SHARE<FOLLOW<SUBSCRIBE**

www.youniqueproducts.com/DeltaDubose

Are you vegetarian?

I pose a question to all of my awesome readers; are you vegetarian? 

The world has gone nuts over this new keto diet and to me it seems like nothing more than a new swing on atkins. It is effective but at what cost? Keto is short for ketosis which is what you are putting your body into through this diet which amounts to weightloss and primarily fat. Which again, is absolutely lovely but can also be extremely dangerous. 

 Personally, I have to question any diet that would allow you to chow down on pork rinds but prohibits eating an apple in fear of gaining like 5 lbs. 

I recently had a baby about 4 months ago, and I am currently breastfeeding. So, going on any diet has to be done with caution and care as I am still supporting a whole other life besides mine based upon what I put into my body. 

If you followed my old blog or are friends with me through facebook, you will know that I have always fought with my weight. After I had my daughter about 9 years ago, I was ridiculously fat and had a slew of health problems, almost died cause I attempted to take birthcontrol (and as I found out I am allergic to any form of synthetic birthcontrol, caused my organs to start shutting down and amounted in 4 surgeries back to back to save my life). 

I havent always been fat, at one point I was a junior olympic weightlifting champion and I would absolutely love to get back to that. That being said I have always been a big woman though. I come from a family line of big women. Doesnt mean I have to be sloppy with it or live a life that is unhealthy and miserable. 

I realize for something to stick it needs to be a life style change and not a "diet". I am terrified of weighing any more than I do right now though and am also seriously considering getting bariatric surgery. However, getting a surgery like that opens up a whole other list of problems that could occur, the need to possibly get skin surgery, and I dont want to be skin and bones. My husband wouldnt find me remotely attractive like that and I would probably hate myself more. I need that equal middle ground. I want to be healthy. Not thin. 

So, in my effort to get myself back to where I want to be and honestly just be healthy I am seriously considering being a vegetarian. I eat alot of veg already and feel better when I do but I know I need way more protein and just cause you are vegetarian doesnt mean you are healthy. 

Are any of you vegetarians? Are any of you on Keto? Anyone a nutritionist or avid bodybuilder that wouldnt mind giving me some pointers? Comment below or message =) 

Again, thank you all for reading and please feel free to share your story, comment, or message me. I love hearing from my readers! 

As always if you are interested in some quality make up to make you feel fab and maybe ever do some good at the same time, My company is doing a defend innocence campaign right now! 

Visit www.youniqueproducts.com/DeltaDubose  ->click on shop ->Kudos! 

Toddler induced Insomnia!

Good morning world! 

Can I still say good morning although I havent gone to bed yet?

I, honestly, tried to earlier but the toddler tornado that is my son decided he didnt want to sleep tonight. Did not take a nap today either! 

I truly believe that children just soak up all of your energy with a sponge and that is why we rely on so much coffee and/or energy drinks to survive. 

I am about to the point mentally, that is considered "SLAP HAPPY". Like, I need to slap myself to stay happy and awake. Not really but I am sure there is some poor parent out there that understands where I am coming from. 

When I was younger I never envisioned myself with children. Not saying it like it is a bad thing that I have them now, NO. I love my kiddos and feel truly blessed to be a mother. It was like I thought I knew what I wanted for my life but my life was like "hahaha you thought!" and it was right. I am the person I am today, because of the fact I became a mom. I grew up. I learned SO MUCH that I never would have, had I not become a mother. 

 So, in instances like today or should I say yesterday; when work kicked my butt, the house was and is a mess, the toddler tornado did not want to take any kind of a nap or go to be before midnight, and the baby nugget wanted the boob all day (even while working) because the poor dude is teething, I have to remind myself to take a deep breath. I may be worn out right now but I will blink and it will all just be a memory that I miss and wish I could go back to. 

Unless you are a reader from my old blog or know me personally, you wouldnt know that my father died when I was younger. And my condolences to all of you readers out there whom have had a parent or parents pass on. 

Growing up in a blended home has its own tricky dynamics as it is, but growing up in a blended home and then your father passing on (either by murder or just way to hard of partying-it will always be a mystery) you learn very early on how precious and short life is. Also, how quickly things can change in the blink of an eye. 

For a really long time, that honestly straight up messed with my head. I couldnt maintain good relationships, I did alot of stupid things that I knew I shouldnt have, and I took things for granted because everyone took me for granted. Maturing means that regardless of how someone else feels or someone elses behavior, you maintain your truth. You must keep your goals in sight, set up true and solid boundaries, and most importantly hold yourself accountable. I have noticed that this generation, this country right now has a real issue with holding themselves accountable for any of their actions or choices. It is always someone elses fault. 

I was the same way! For a very long time, I was the same way. 

It was someone elses fault that I was sad. It was someone elses fault that I couldnt cope. It was someone elses fault that I came from a blended home so I created my own blended home. It was someone elses fault that I was lazy, out of shape, not eating right, not living up to my potential, and letting my ambitiousness come off as cocky arrogance. 

I pushed people away. I put myself in those situations. I lost great jobs. I procrastinated. I ate that food and then didnt work out. I did it. 

And- 

I am the only one that can fix it. 

I have to fix me for my family to be strong. 

I have to hold myself accountable.
I have to be a better friend, a more loyal friend, and a more reliable person over all! 

When I started implementing that thought process into my daily life, you would think that is added stress but for me, it was like a huge weight was lifted off of my chest. 

I mean hell, you can only truly stress about the things that you can control but if you are giving everyone and everything thing around you all of the control of your life and your circumstances- you will always be grasping for stress. You will always be trying to find things to stress about and to worry about, and it will drive you into a depression quickly. 

When you take control, you can face all that hurts you, and then truly enjoy this short and delicate life to its beautiful fulfillment. 

Well, that was an unexpected turn! 3 am insomnia writing at its finest! Get talking about one thing and then end up having a mental/emotional break through. God, I love writing. 

Feel free to comment, share, or message me <3 I love hearing from my readers!

www.youniquproducts.com/DeltaDubose 

First world Problems

I am having a very "First world problems" type of day. And, being that I have traveled to other countries, it makes me feel like a total POS for having these existential crisis moments over such pathetic things. 

For starters, my internet is being SUPER slow. I have no doubt it is due to the storms we have had basically all weekend. Which, I am actually very thankful for, as we have had nonstop 113 degree weather for weeks. We needed this rain but I work from home so having slow internet is not conducive to my work flow. Try explaining that to a cave man? My husband has definitely put that type of thinking into my brain. If you start to bitch, moan, and complain about something; imagine trying to explain that situation, that bullshit problem to a caveman. Would he or she then just beat you over the head with a mallet because your "problem" isnt really a problem? Yeah, I would get beaten. Explaining to a caveman that I have access to all the data in the known world and I am stressed because my magic picture box is taking more than .5 milliseconds to deliver that information to me. Ugh, I suck. 

Next, I am stressed because since my massive allergic reaction, I have been cleaning nonstop to try and stop that from happening again; you cant tell that I have done jack shit. Why? Because I have entirely too many things crammed into this tiny house and I have a toddler tornado that like to pull everything out and unfold every piece of clothing and towels that Ive already folded 17 times. Definitely, a first world problem. I have too many things. I am stressed because my things need to be cleaned and put away and I have run out of places to put those things. And, my inquisitive toddler is just discovering the world. Learning. *Facepalm*

It is in instances like this that I have like an out of body experience because I do realize that what I am getting stressed about has easy solutions or just requires me to be more patient. I need patience. I need to calm my head back to the rhythm of my heart and the earth below me. Sometimes we all need to remember that. We are these amazing bundles of cells on this huge yet tiny floating rock, circling this huge yet tiny ball of gas, in this massive yet spec of a solar system, in a massive yet tiny universe. 

I apologize for my pathetic first world problems in a world that has so many actual problems. 

Anyone else allergic to the world?

Here is my question to the community, how many of yall out there are also allergic to the world like I am? Anyone? Do you play the guessing game of, "What has caused the welts this time?" or "Wonder what I touched that has me swelling up like I have elephantiasis?" 

I legitimately woke up yesterday morning, not to an alarm or even a toddler tornado. Nope, I woke up to a throbbing pain radiating in my fingers because my hands were so swollen and itchy, I couldn't close my hand into a fist. My rings were an absolute delight trying to pry them off. My ring finger actually bruised from it. Of course, every person whom then finds out of my awesome morning asks all of the exact same questions. Mind you, I have heard these questions my entire life! I have yet to actually have an answer to the number one question "What did you get into?" 
My answer is always a resounding " I DONT KNOW!" 

I dont know. I have to go over in my head every single thing that I have touched, come in contact with, eaten, drank, and breathed the same air with in the minimum of the last 24 to 48 hours. Can you do that? Do you know absolutely everything that you have breathed the same air with? 

I had to wash everything. Meaning I had to buy a whole new huge container of laundry soap that I know for a fact wont make me break out. I had to bath all the animals, change the air vent, vacuum, dust, mop, and I haven't even gotten to cleaning my car because that very well may be what caused it. I have to wear gloves when touching the dog food cause its new and might have done it. 

I am on a severe benadryl hang over and have so much work to catch up on besides all of the cleaning to do. 

Comment below if the world is trying to kill you too or just mildly annoy you by causing you to swell up like the blueberry girl in willy wonka like me. 

Younique Divas

Emerging from the ashes like the immortal Phoenix, she dusted off the shattered pieces of her earlier life. 

HELLO! WORLD! It has been what seems like a whole life time ago since I last wrote and so much has happened in lapse of time.

I am beyond happy to report that my ugly boy and I are going on almost 4 years of marriage and we are FINALLY on the same page with each other on so many levels. It hasn't all been bliss but it has been the best adventure of my life and I wouldn't have wanted to do it with anyone but him. It is so crazy to think that we have come this far since 2004 when we first met, in high school! We now have a beautiful little family! Three amazing kiddos, two derpy dogs, two diva cats, my awesome old man turtle, and a love that I am beyond sure will survive the test of time and tribulations. He still tests me and pushes me but I finally believe that he sees that I am his 4eva and always, I am his Delta.

On other fronts, professionally it has been a bit of a roller-coaster because I am a jack of all trades and a queen of so many. I was temping in a great oral surgeons office but the Dentist was retiring and the replacement wasn't dedicated to work in the least. Which, I can respect. If you can make that much money and barely ever work; take advantage of it. I would much rather be home with my kids but still making my own money. Which leads me to my expansion on my dental license. I went ahead and got my license to sell Life, Health, and annuities in about 23 states. It has given me the opportunity to make the money that I use to make in Loss Prevention but without the hazards and long hours away from my family. It has been a huge blessing. Im telling you for my first two kids I was scared the whole time if I was going to be able to afford food and bills while I was off on maternity leave. However, thanks to this expansion in my career, I was able to work all the way up to the week I had my littlest one and I was able to go back to work sooner without leaving the convenience of my home!

Working from home is awesome! I do have to go drop my toddler tornado off at preschool because he needs the interaction. He is such a smart, little busy body! However, I am able to keep my infant at home with me. Hes my working buddy. Whenever he starts to fuss while I am on a call, I simply apologize to my client and say I am going to close my office door and then just pop him on the boob and hes happy and fed and I can continue to work. Its great! However, I am starting a new program soon and they are more strict on back ground noise and Ill have a webcam on me, so Ill have to either hire a nanny or take him to daycare as well. The fact that I know Ill be able to afford that and still be able to keep a roof over their heads and food in their bellies without relying on anyone else or assistance of any kind is mind blowing.

I keep pushing forward. I feel like Im finally getting this whole adulting thing down. LOL! I know that there is so much more to come and every aspect of life will come with its stresses but I finally feel calm and like Ive got at least some of it together. Even though I am stressed, I am using that stress to motivate me instead of depress me.

I am also trying to stay connected with some of my other career streams, including my cosmetology and make up artistry. I even sell younique! ( www.youniqueproducts.com/DeltaDubose ) Its actually a hilarious story.

So, one of the first days before my toddler tornado could start in preschool, he was playing in the living room. Mickey mouse was playing on the TV and he was having a good little mickey time! Then he got just a little too quiet and any mom knows that when the toddler is quiet they are either sleeping or into something. Usually, they are into something. When do toddlers ever sleep? HAHAHA! So, I put myself into a short break and went to check on him. As I enter the living room, I see a glittering trail of assorted colors leading to my little tornado! He had ALL of my makeup and was busy covering his entire face in long lasting lipstick. It took four baths to finally get it all off of his skin and out of his hair. Have to give it to sephora, they truly mean long lasting. I had to wait till the end of my shift to clean up the rest of the house where he had "Colored". Honestly, to replace everything, I was looking at a $500 to $800 bill, if not more. I just wanted to cry. I had resigned myself to just accepting the fact that for the next few months I would either have to wear what I could from Walmart or HEB or just not wear any make up at all. I hadn't budgeted for something like that and at the moment I am trying to save money to move us into a house off post before my ugly boy gets home from this deployment so that at least that is one thing he doesn't have to stress about. Luckily, my adopted sister had just started selling younique and messaged me to see if maybe she could help. I looked at everything and fell in love with the products and the structure of the company. Brass tax, it was less expensive just purchasing the kit (ONLY $99) to become a presenter and at least half of my make up would be replaced than to buy everything separately (and who am I kidding, an opportunity for me to make some passive income at the same time, YES!)

And, as many of you know, I am allergic to everything under the sun. So, I do have to be very careful about the products that I use. Thankfully, the majority of these products are all natural and have vitamins to enhance the natural beauty of my skin without causing me to grab my epi pen.

Please feel free to check out my link, maybe younique can help yall too!

Till next time!
(I promise, I will be writing on a more regular basis now)